Breast Cancer Doesn't Make Me Smile and Neither Does The Latest YSC Campaign

It is not okay to sexualize breast cancer. 

 

It is not a sexy disease.  It does nothing to make us feel sexy.  In fact, we often lose parts of our body that do just that and even those who don't lose their breasts are left feeling nothing like they used to.  

We are scarred, poked, prodded, dissected, amputated, burned and chemically tortured.  After all of that we are unquestionably and irrevocably changed.  We suffer.  We struggle.  We are not okay.  And many (too many) will die from this disease.  

Approximately 108 people die in this country every day from metastatic breast cancer.  YSC knows this.  So for an organization like Young Survival Coalition (whom I thought knew better) to align themselves with a campaign that clearly wants to simplify what breast cancer is all about and profit from it is just downright hypocritical and entirely insensitive.  It's quite dirty if you ask me.

This was an EPIC FAIL on the part of Young Survival Coalition yesterday when they decided to post this photo of their partnership with Spencer's Gifts and the "Boobies Make Me Smile" Campaign/Foundation.  

As soon as the post aired I took a position.  I even commented on the thread.  Soon after YSC replied to me directly with this comment.

Women everywhere were commenting about how awful this choice was.  Yet YSC maintained that they are in fact empowering young women and reaching their target audience with the help of Spencer's.

How does it help educate and empower young women about the devastating effects and impact of breast cancer by using tacky, distasteful marketing ploys like boobies and tie dye?  Really YSC, what is wrong with you?  You are the company you keep.

After a slew of negative feedback about this horrible association, YSC has since removed their post from their Facebook page.  A sincere apology and disassociation from this campaign however has not happened.  

Beth Caldwell wrote a wonderful open letter last night in response to this debacle and you can read it here.

Take a stand.  

xo Melissa

Beth Caldwell Says It All In Less Than 3 Minutes

As the amazing and beautiful Beth Caldwell implores her Washington State Senate yesterday (to pass SHB 2194 to create a funding stream and program for cancer research, prevention and care) I too implore YOU to watch and listen and stand up and use your voice because there will come a day (if we don't act now) that Beth and the women like her (living with metastatic cancer) will not be here to speak for themselves. If you live in Washington State please call your representatives and senators ask them to pass SHB 2194 for Cancer Funding.

Beth is the author of this wonderful blog The Cult of Perfect Motherhood

Wear Your Scars Like Fucking Stardust

If you don't know or don't follow the author and brilliant woman, Amy Ferris just stop now and go find her.  Here let me help you... Amy Ferris

And here I am...wearing my mastectomy scars like fucking stardust. A quote originally from the gritty and downright hell of a woman, Amy Ferris. 

No one could have put it better.

xo ~ M

Brave Girl Boxes New T-shirt Campaign

I've received a lot of request for more t-shirts to support Brave Girl Boxes.  I finally have gotten around to creating a new design and I hope you all love it.  As you know I love birds so I included a beautiful extended wing in the design and I used the same statement as in the latest cover photo "BRAVE GIRLS KEEP IT REAL."  I love the way it turned out and I chose a lovely blue color.  It's available in both unisex fit and women's fitted. 

The sale ends July 1st. 

Only 11 shirts need to sell for them to go to print.  Bonfirefunds handles everything.  When it's done they donate the profit to BGB.  This helps keep my mission of delivering hope, courage and love alive.

Please share everywhere!  The powers of social media are amazing.

xo ~ M

Here is the link!

Fear, Anxiety & Second Opinions

xo Melissa

References for you:

Enchondroma
Gralise (gabapentin)
Bone Islands
CT
Bone Scan
Metastatic
PMPS Post Mastectomy Pain Syndrome

Learn more about breast cancer here.

The High Wire

Sometimes I succeed at taking off my cancer glasses (through which almost everything seen is about cancer). Other times not so much. It does get more "do-able." NOT easier. Just more "do-able" with time. But nothing can take away these spectacles I now have...you too?

It's not about being a downer or negative or pessimistic. It's about the new reality you live in. Not everyone gets this.... Not everyone lives in this space that we do. But it's real and it's not going away. It's just something we balance and manage.

My good friend Lynn calls this the tightrope we walk. Our high wire act. Too much to the left and we're in a rut, depressed and full of fear. Too far to the right and we've lost sight of what keeps us safe and grounded....lost in the clouds of denial.

The middle is where we live our best life. Balanced. Honest. Do-able. Brave.

xo Melissa

Keeping It Real After Cancer

I shouldn't write when I'm angry.  But then again, that's usually when my voice is best transcribed.  I AM angry.  So fucking angry.  I'm angry about a lot of things that I blame entirely on cancer.

In the past several days I've heard the news of three more admirable women dying of metastatic cancer (cancer that has spread from the site of origin to other parts of the body).  When I read the news on my Facebook feed (because so often we learn the news via social media), I uttered "another one."  I said that because it seems like every day I learn that someone else has been taken by the enemy.  It's too much!

When the person next to me heard me, they immediately took the position that my life has become too focused on cancer and that it was becoming overwhelmingly a negative part of my life and causing me to therefore be negative. 

I beg to fucking differ.  Yes, I swear and I don't care.

Here's why.

Once you know a thing, you can't unknow that thing (I've always been struck by this phrase).  And once you know cancer intimately, you simply can't unknow it.  Even if you no longer present with any evidence of cancer.  I say it that way (no longer present with any evidence of cancer) because I don't think I'm free from cancer in the larger sense.  My body might not exhibit signs of cancer residing within me any longer, but my life in general certainly has not been rid of cancer, nor will it ever be.  Nor should it, in my opinion.  Until it's eradicated at least.

I believe in balance.  I must care for my healthy self, and nurture the happy and positive parts of my life.  And I do this as often as I can.  I encourage everyone to do this.  It's important no matter what your current status is (cancer patient, NED, caregiver, etc). 

But I will not leave behind my friends or the women and men still enduring this devilish malignant criminal.  I will not ignore the dying so that I might live a "blissfully ignorant" life.  To do so would be to dishonor those still in need of so much more.  Because they are NOT rid of cancer.  They need scientific advances (like yesterday already).  To do so would be to shoot myself in the foot too.  Because the fact remains, while I might not be showing signs of cancer today, 1 in 3 will be diagnosed with metastatic cancer (no matter how long ago their original cancer was).  So I would be fooling myself to think fighting this fight doesn't serve me too.  It's serves us all.

If we leave all the talking and rallying and fighting up to the people with metastatic cancer (who by the way have enough to be worrying about and dealing with), soon there will be NO VOICES...
...because if you haven't heard, metastatic cancer kills everyone with metastatic cancer.  Period. 

We DON'T need to be losing so many women and men who by all reasoning should have so much life left to live.
We DON'T need more motherless and fatherless children.

We need more voices (there are many but not enough). 
We need scientific advances. 
We need funding to be directed intensely at finding a cure NOT awareness. 
We need research and clinical trials to be funded. 
We need faces and campaigns that far surpass what exists today.
We need the truth (not all metastatic patients are counted).

So, while I might sound negative or depressing at times to someone who doesn't intimately understand this complicated "afterlife", I can only say this...

..."this is the truth.  This is reality.  I won't stand by and be silent while people suffer and die.  I have a responsibility now and I will not let your fear of the truth stop me from telling it."

I am asking all of you to donate today if you can, any amount is acceptable. 
As little as a dollar. 
Please go to METAvivor and make a difference.

In honor of:

Lisa Boncheck Adams

Paula Yanochik-Bishop

Brittney Brewer


And all that have gone before them (too soon).  May you never be forgotten.

- Melissa McAllister