In the past several days I've heard the news of three more admirable women dying of metastatic cancer (cancer that has spread from the site of origin to other parts of the body). When I read the news on my Facebook feed (because so often we learn the news via social media), I uttered "another one." I said that because it seems like every day I learn that someone else has been taken by the enemy. It's too much!
When the person next to me heard me, they immediately took the position that my life has become too focused on cancer and that it was becoming overwhelmingly a negative part of my life and causing me to therefore be negative.
I beg to fucking differ. Yes, I swear and I don't care.
Here's why.
Once you know a thing, you can't unknow that thing (I've always been struck by this phrase). And once you know cancer intimately, you simply can't unknow it. Even if you no longer present with any evidence of cancer. I say it that way (no longer present with any evidence of cancer) because I don't think I'm free from cancer in the larger sense. My body might not exhibit signs of cancer residing within me any longer, but my life in general certainly has not been rid of cancer, nor will it ever be. Nor should it, in my opinion. Until it's eradicated at least.
I believe in balance. I must care for my healthy self, and nurture the happy and positive parts of my life. And I do this as often as I can. I encourage everyone to do this. It's important no matter what your current status is (cancer patient, NED, caregiver, etc).
But I will not leave behind my friends or the women and men still enduring this devilish malignant criminal. I will not ignore the dying so that I might live a "blissfully ignorant" life. To do so would be to dishonor those still in need of so much more. Because they are NOT rid of cancer. They need scientific advances (like yesterday already). To do so would be to shoot myself in the foot too. Because the fact remains, while I might not be showing signs of cancer today, 1 in 3 will be diagnosed with metastatic cancer (no matter how long ago their original cancer was). So I would be fooling myself to think fighting this fight doesn't serve me too. It's serves us all.
If we leave all the talking and rallying and fighting up to the people with metastatic cancer (who by the way have enough to be worrying about and dealing with), soon there will be NO VOICES...
...because if you haven't heard, metastatic cancer kills everyone with metastatic cancer. Period.
We DON'T need to be losing so many women and men who by all reasoning should have so much life left to live.
We DON'T need more motherless and fatherless children.
We need more voices (there are many but not enough).
We need scientific advances.
We need funding to be directed intensely at finding a cure NOT awareness.
We need research and clinical trials to be funded.
We need faces and campaigns that far surpass what exists today.
We need the truth (not all metastatic patients are counted).
So, while I might sound negative or depressing at times to someone who doesn't intimately understand this complicated "afterlife", I can only say this...
..."this is the truth. This is reality. I won't stand by and be silent while people suffer and die. I have a responsibility now and I will not let your fear of the truth stop me from telling it."
I am asking all of you to donate today if you can, any amount is acceptable.
As little as a dollar.
Please go to METAvivor and make a difference.
In honor of:
Lisa Boncheck Adams
Paula Yanochik-Bishop
Brittney Brewer
And all that have gone before them (too soon). May you never be forgotten.
- Melissa McAllister
