It's been seven days since the mammogram. I'm about to go through something that for the past week has been scaring the sh*t out of me. I call it the second invasion of my breast. The first being the lump, now the needles will invade and I am terrified.
To prepare myself I get this bright idea and decide to look up videos of the procedures on YouTube. BIG mistake for me personally, it just scared me more. I don't like medical settings at all. The smell of sterility and instruments and cleaner alone gets me queasy.
The night before the biopsy I came home from work to find the sweetest note and flowers from my stepdaughter Leah and my grandson Jace. It was such a sweet reminder that I had love around me.
On the way to to the appointment he continued to reassure me that all would be okay and we would get through this together. These tiny reminders were wonderful to hear no matter how hard they were to believe. I am a pessimist and he is an optimist. I need him so much right now and he's doing a terrific job. I know through this journey I will need to have more of a positive outlook and to attract positive thoughts. It's what everyone keeps reminding me.
I wore comfortable clothing just like they recommended. I hadn't taken anything but Tylenol for pain for over a week so that I wouldn't bleed a lot. I was as prepared as I could possibly be. We check in and have a seat. There are lots of people in the waiting room. Men, women, all there for any number of reasons. I wait until my name is called, hoping for it to take a while but as soon as I get comfortable..."Mrs. McAllister" fills the room.
I wished Dale could go with me but I kissed him, handed him my purse and we said "I Love You." I followed a woman back to another room much like the one at the place where I had my mammogram. Only this time we walked right on by the room where the women are waiting to have their mammograms and head down another hallway to different tiny dressing room with a curtain. Again, I'm instructed to undress from the waist up and don the gown with the opening facing the front. I wait.
Soon another woman appears, her name is Daizy with a "z." She is Indian and I am drawn to her accent and she is just another wonderful and gentle person providing the care I so need right now. She brought me into a little room to sit and wait to meet the doctor who will perform the biopsies. Before she left me she explained the whole process to me, emphasizing how she will take good care of me and we will finish as quickly as possible. I appreciated her sincerity, even though I was certain she repeated these words to everyone who had to sit in this chair.
A few minutes later Dr. Sicard greets me. She makes sure I understand what will happen and shares with me that she too has been through the procedure. She walks with me to the room next door where the first two procedures will take place. The sterility and smell is already getting to me. There are lots of instruments and machines around the room and in the middle is a large table. I have to climb up onto the table (there is no possible way to do this gracefully) and lay flat on my stomach. In the middle of this table is a hole where my right breast must hang through. I feel ridiculous and uncomfortable. My right arm is laying by my side backward, my head is turned to the left and my left arm is raised above my head on the table.
this is the kind of table this biopsy is done on
Once you are in that position you can't move for the entire procedure and I had two procedures in a row to complete while on this table. It's awkward. So I focus on my breath and I try to daydream. The music of Enya was playing in the room. I suppose they wanted to provide a sense of relaxation, which is hard to attain in this state, but nice just the same.
Both Dr. Sicard and Daizy talk to me through everything. They both alert me before anything is done. It's nice. In preparation for the biopsies they position my breast and apply numbing medicine. Daizy rubs my back as a distraction while the shot is given. I thank her. Touch is an amazing medicine.
They take more images to ensure the needle will be guided to the exact location to extract the sample of tissue. When this is happening I feel only a tiny tickle of pain in the deeper part of my breast, but it's insignificant. The samples retrieved are examined to make sure they got what they wanted. As soon as this is confirmed I am prepped for the next one.
After the second biopsy is completed they apply compression to the breast to ensure the bleeding had stopped. We are finally done with this part. Thank, God! This whole process up to that point took about 90 minutes. Lying in the same position. I could barely pick myself up off the table because my arms and shoulder and neck had kinked and gone numb a long time ago. As soon as I sat upright I got dizzy.
I know this feeling all too well. I asked Daizy for some orange juice because I was about to lose consciousness I lay back down. Daizy and the doctor applied ice packs to my forehead, neck and wrists. I am so familiar with this reaction of my body. It hates trauma. My anxiety combined with the smells, the thoughts, seeing any speck of blood and the fluctuation in my blood pressure after lying down for so long has made me absolutely about to black out. The room is fuzzy, sounds are miles away and I am heavy. After I have the orange juice and give myself a few minutes I am feeling like I can sit up again. And guess what? I still have one more biopsy before this trip is over.
We relocate to the room next door where I could now lie on my back, just like when I had the ultrasound a week ago. In fact an ultrasound is used to guide this biopsy procedure. Dr. Sicard prepared me for another injection of numbing medication. I just turn my head and try to zone out while this happens. My right arm is raised above my head and after the breast is numb she takes two or three tissue samples and it's over. They felt like little pinches with a loud clip sound. It was over quickly.
this is what the ultrasound guided biopsy is like
Aftercare instructions were provided to me. No heavy lifting for a couple days. No showering the first day. Keep the bandages/tape on until they fall off. Use Tylenol and ibuprofen for pain. Alternate ice packing to reduce swelling (bags of frozen peas are best). Wear a sports bra. Wait for results.
I got dressed and was more than ready to see Dale. It had been almost three hours since my arrival. I could tell he was happy to see me when I walked out. We headed home where I just wanted to rest and be with my family. My husband had a little crown waiting for me when I got home :)
This is a kids crown with the girl from the movie Brave on it. Appropriate I thought.
I told them that I would not let this go to my head :)
I told them that I would not let this go to my head :)
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