After my MRI everything is sort of a blurrrr until the big day. It's like running through mud. Things are happening very fast in reality but you feel like it's all in slow motion. I was so caught up in the doctor appointments and what everything meant. I worried how I was going to handle everything and balance everything, who was going to take care of me, how was I going to take care of myself...and on and on and on. I was one big ball of capital A - Anxiety!
If you can imagine, it's a time of lots of fears, introspections, and waiting. Waiting is the worse part. I waited almost 2 months post mammogram to actually undergo surgery due to all the biopsies and waiting for results and then more biopsies and then waiting some more.
Finally we had a clue what was going on.
Oh, and did I mention that in the midst of all that I left my job because I had an A-hole of a boss. I was being pressed and pushed about my diagnosis to a point that I felt like my privacy was being completely invaded and that I was not being given reasonable accommodations for necessary appointments. The stress was just too much and so I told them to stick it. I had no recourse. Small company, no FMLA, not even unemployment. Oh well.
I was diagnosed with DCIS (Ductal Carcinoma In Situ) which is a fancy way of saying cancer that just hasn't broken through the walls of the ducts...it hasn't invaded you YET. I was also diagnosed with Stage 1A IDC (Invasive Ductal Carcinoma) which is when the cancer cells have broken through the walls of the ducts and started to spread.
I tested ER+/PR+ and HER2 negative. This means my cancer cells showed that they still had their little hormone receptors for estrogen and progesterone. HER2 negative means the cancer slower and less aggressive than HER2 positive. This is good in the scheme of things.
My tumor was just to the right of my nipple in my right breast. It measured 1.5 cm. No sign so far of lymph node involvement. My insurance refused to pay for the BRCA gene testing so I still don't know if I carry the breast cancer gene.
After all was said and done I knew I needed a complete mastectomy of the right breast. My left breast showed no signs of cancer but to be safe I elected to have a prophylactic mastectomy of the left just in case. I didn't want to risk things or mess around. I wanted this sh*t gone!
I would undergo immediate reconstruction with the placement of expanders that would stretch the skin over time until the space was big enough to hold the size of the implant I chose to have. I would need to live with them for several months before having the expanders swapped for implants. This is a highly recommended way to proceed rather than immediate implant placement because it reduces the likelihood your body will reject the implant.
Surgery was scheduled for June 3rd, 2013.
Lucky for me, I had lots of support and my parents surprised me with an extended stay to be there the day of surgery and help for a couple days after. I was so happy that they were going to be there. It doesn't matter how old you are. When you find out you have cancer and your parents come to your side, you feel like you're a little girl again and you soak up all the love like a sponge.
The night before surgery the whole family feasted on delicious eats and drinks together. It was a very special evening, made extra special by the people at Ozzie's.
And you know the old rule about no food or drink after 12 midnight when you're having surgery in the morning. Well I stayed up (mostly because I couldn't sleep) and enjoyed every last bite of dessert from that evening. Down to the last minute!
These are pics of LuLu and me before we dropped her off at my in-law's the morning of surgery. I did not want to let her go. I was very nervous and fearful of all I didn't know. As prepared as you think you are, you're never prepared to have your boobs removed.
This is me and my great husband Dale. Photo op in the hospital parking lot right before heading inside. I think we both look like we're trying to put on a good face, but it wasn't easy.
Here we go!
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