The Big Day...The Day I Said Goodbye To My Big Boobs

June 3, 2013 

A Few Before Pics To Honor The Girls In All Their Glory

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I never would have been the type of girl who would elect surgery of any kind, especially cosmetic.  Sure there were things I didn't like about myself, but I accepted those things and could live with them.  So the fact that I was about to lose both my breasts was very devastating.  And the idea of reconstruction instilled a great amount of fear.  What would I look like when this was all over with?

I guess all those questions would be answered in the hours, days, weeks and months to come.  Remember, one of the keys to this process is taking things one thing at a time.  One moment at a time.  Thinking any other way only gets your mind all twisted up in tizzy.  And no one wants that.

This excerpt from a book my mom gave me after my diagnosis helped me with my feelings.

Upon check in at the hospital you do the usual stuff.  Sign in, give all your info, insurance info, confirm what you're having surgery for, get your wristbands and then you're sent to a waiting room to be called back for your surgery.  It was early morning that day in June.

I went back to the waiting room with my husband.  My parents and Cara came shortly after.  I had a bag of things to keep me busy and my mind off things until being called back but before I could get settled the nurse appeared and called my name.  All I could think was "Nooooo, not yet!"  I hugged my father and kissed Cara and my mom.  Dale was allowed to go with me and thank goodness because I might otherwise have been a total blubbering mess.

Immediately they take you to your pre-op area.  Behind a curtain you undress.  The anesthesiologist comes to see you, the nurse comes to see you the tech comes to see you, the doctor arrives and comes to see you (in my case both doctors, breast surgeon and plastic surgeon).  You start getting pumped with drugs to calm you and prepare you for the trip back to the O.R.  The plastic surgeon marks you up with his marker and makes you mark the breast that has the cancer.  I wrote YES on my right boob.  Even though both were being removed, they start with the non cancer side so not to cross contaminate possible cancer cells.  Everyone was great and I can't complain one bit.  My experience was wonderful in pre-op.

This pic is actually a while after surgery.  So these are my after boobs.
You might wonder why the marker is still on my skin?  I promise you no one who has had their boods removed and rebuilt wants to scrub their skin for a while!

They allowed my dad to come back right before to rolled me away.  I loved that moment.  I am very close to my dad and this cancer deal was a very hard thing for us to get through together.  We hugged tightly, shed a tear or two and promised to see each other soon.  Then they were ready to roll me back.  I hugged Dale, and when we kissed I didn't want our lips to part.  I was afraid but didn't want anyone to know how afraid.

Me and My Pops

As they rolled me back to the O.R. they kept me comfortable with warm blankets and small talk.  I could really feel the meds kicking in.  We quickly arrived into the room where it would all go down and I immediately noticed how cold it was, how hollow is sounded and how sterile and "uncomfy" it seemed.

They helped me moved from one gurney to another and by the time they asked me if I was comfortable and doing okay all I remember was saying yes and seeing the big bright light above me.  And I was down for the count.  The next thing I would recall was waking in the recovery room 5-6 hours later.

During that time here's basically what goes down.  The breast surgeon removes all the breast tissue from the good side first.  When he is done, the plastic surgeon starts reconstructing.  Then the breast surgeon removes all the breast tissue and cancer and samples lymph nodes on the diseased breast (in my case 11 nodes) and then the plastic surgeon starts reconstruction on that side.  The nodes are tested immediately to determine exposure to cancer.  Thankfully mine showed none.  During the reconstruction the surgeon places expanders where your breast tissue once was and closes you up, leaving you (me) with four drains (two on each side) and they wrap you like a mummy and stuff you into a special support bra.

Had to capture the moment during the night.

I was extremely groggy when I woke up.  And extremely nauseous.  Anesthesia and me don't like each other...especially when I started to try and eat food and drink liquids.  I spent the night in the hospital and Dale stayed with me.  They checked on me continuously making it hard to sleep, not to mention my chest felt like a ton of bricks was laying on it and my boobs had just been excised!  The pain was being managed for the most part, but it was very painful despite pain meds.  I threw up constantly.  And in the morning when they wanted me to start moving and eating, I continued to throw up.  I was given some great anti-nausea meds finally.  It was late afternoon by the time I was cleared to go home.  I had no idea how they could send women home so early.  I felt incapable of anything.  I couldn't even go to the bathroom without help.

Oh the embarrassments we overcome when you have cancer.

That's me in the hospital room bathroom trying to get ready to go home.  That's the beautiful special support compression bra and those are my lovely drains and bulbs a.k.a grenades that stay pinned to you wherever you go even after you go home!  How fun right?

That's the pic I sent out to let everyone know I made it!

My wonderful parents were waiting for me at home along with Cara.  I don't remember the ride home and the two flights of stairs I had to conquer before entering my apartment was a task only possible with the entire help of Dale and my parents.  I went straight to my bed and there I stayed for what seems weeks.  More of that to come.

Overall I have to say that the experience, while undesirable and never one I would choose without need, was a good one.  I loved the staff, the hospital, the wonderfully gifted and talented people who played a role in my preparation, procedure, recovery and release.  I have to give my best and biggest shout outs to my breast surgeon, Dr. Hernan Vargas, my plastic surgeon, Dr. Mark Venturi and my breast surgeon's PA, Mary Z.  Mary has left a imprint on my heart and I will always feel blessed by her care and concern.  I continue to believe that God placed all of these people in my path to provide me with the best possible care and the best possible outcome.

PEACE!